The Different Faces of Grief: Grieving for Different Types of Loss

The Different Faces of Grief: Grieving for Different Types of Loss

Grief isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. It takes many shapes, shifts with time, and manifests in ways we don’t always expect. When people think of grief, they often associate it with the death of a loved one. And while that is one of the deepest, most profound losses a person can endure, grief extends far beyond just physical death. We grieve relationships, dreams, jobs, health, and even the versions of ourselves that no longer exist.

I’ve spent a lot of time learning about grief—walking through it, sitting with it, trying to understand its many layers. Losing both of my parents within 9 months of each other was a heartbreak that reshaped me in ways I’m still discovering. But grief didn’t just show up when they passed. It crept in during mom's battle with cancer, going out to dad's shop to work on the yard, in the quiet moments of realization that life as I knew it was slipping away. It came in waves—sometimes a slow, steady ache, other times a sudden, overwhelming flood that left me gasping for air. Grief isn’t just sadness; it’s love with nowhere to go.

The Many Forms of Grief

1. Grieving a Loved One’s Death This is the grief most people are familiar with—the all-consuming sorrow of losing someone you love. It’s raw, unfiltered, and comes in unpredictable waves. Some days, it feels like an open wound. Other days, it’s a quiet, ever-present ache. There is no “getting over” this kind of grief; instead, we learn to carry it with us, allowing it to become part of who we are. As Elisabeth Kübler-Ross once said, “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it.”

   When I lost my parents, the world didn’t just lose them—I lost an entire sense of home, a place where I had always belonged. Their absence was deafening. I found myself talking to them in my head, reaching for the phone before remembering they wouldn’t answer. Grief, I realized, is love persisting beyond space and time.

2. Anticipatory Grief This grief happens before the actual loss, creeping in like a shadow long before the moment of goodbye. I experienced this as I watched my mom fight her illness, knowing deep down that time was slipping away. Every scan, every decline, every hard conversation was a reminder of what was coming. Anticipatory grief is complex; it comes with moments of sorrow, guilt for mourning too soon, and the exhausting cycle of hope and despair.

   If you are in the midst of this kind of grief, allow yourself the space to feel it. Spend time with your loved ones, make memories, and say the words you don’t want to leave unspoken. There is pain in knowing, but there is also a gift in having time to say goodbye.

3. The Loss of a Relationship Romantic breakups, friendships that fade, family estrangements—these losses can feel just as painful as death. The difference is, this grief is often overlooked. Society tells us to “move on,” but losing a relationship means losing shared memories, unfulfilled dreams, and the emotional security that person once provided.

   When a relationship ends, a version of your life that you once envisioned disappears with it. I’ve mourned relationships that I thought would last forever, felt the sting of betrayal, and wrestled with the question of whether love was ever truly real. Grieving a relationship means grieving the future you once believed in—and that takes time.

4. Loss of Identity or Sense of Self This is a grief we don’t talk about enough. Life changes—parenthood, career shifts, illness, trauma—can make us feel disconnected from the person we used to be. I’ve found myself grieving old versions of me, the ones who existed before loss redefined my world. The carefree girl who didn’t yet understand mortality. The daughter who always had a home to return to. The woman who believed in a predictable, controllable future. The persons who put everyone else's needs above theirs, to the point of burnout.

   If you are mourning a past version of yourself, know this: Growth requires loss. Not all identify losses are negative. I'm embracing the new version of myself that is finally putting my needs above everyone else's. It took massive layers of burnout to get here, and I'm thankful for her, but I don't want to be her moving forward. You are allowed to miss who you were while still embracing who you are becoming.

5. Loss of a Dream or Future You Planned Sometimes, the hardest grief to explain is the grief for what never was. Maybe you envisioned a life that didn’t pan out—a career path that stalled, a relationship that didn’t lead to marriage, the family you always wanted but never had. This type of grief is tricky because it’s often invisible to others, but it’s real and valid.

   I’ve had to grieve futures I thought were certain. The realization that life wasn’t going to unfold the way I had mapped it out was jarring. But in time, I learned that letting go of one dream makes space for another. The path may be different, but that doesn’t mean it won’t still be beautiful.

How to Navigate the Different Faces of Grief

• Acknowledge Your Loss: No matter what type of grief you’re facing, don’t minimize it. Your feelings are valid, even if others don’t understand them.

• Find Healthy Outlets: Journaling, therapy, movement, or creative expression can help process emotions. Writing about my journey has been one of the most healing things I’ve done.

• Lean on a Support System: Whether it’s friends, family, or online communities, connection is key. Grief can be isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone.

• Allow Yourself to Feel It All: There’s no “right” way to grieve. Some days you might cry, others you might laugh at an old memory. Both are okay.

• Give Yourself Grace: Healing isn’t linear. Some days will be heavier than others, and that’s okay.

• Honor What Was, Embrace What Is: Create small rituals that honor what you’ve lost—a letter to a loved one, a symbolic act of closure, a new tradition to carry forward.

Grief changes you, but it doesn’t mean you stop living. If anything, it teaches you to live more fully—to appreciate the small moments, to love deeply, and to honor the past while embracing the future. As I continue my journey of self-discovery through loss, I remind myself daily: Still, she rises up.

What kind of grief have you experienced? Let’s talk about it in the comments! You’re not alone in this.