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Bienvenidos a Still She Rises Up. Este blog es una reflexión sobre mi viaje a través del duelo y la profunda transformación que ha traído a mi vida. Aquí, mi objetivo es crear un espacio seguro para la vulnerabilidad y las conversaciones abiertas sobre los temas que a menudo no se mencionan. Los invito a unirse a mí en este viaje y espero que encuentren consuelo y conexión mientras exploramos estas importantes conversaciones juntos.

Still She Rises Up: A Grief Journey of Resilience, Healing, and Empowerment

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Today is World Cholangiocarcinoma Day.
Which is a long word for a cancer most people have never heard of…
until it hits their life.

Cholangiocarcinoma (CCA) is a rare and aggressive bile duct cancer.
It’s often diagnosed late because symptoms are vague — fatigue, jaundice, abdominal pain — things that get brushed off until they can’t be anymore.

It accounts for less than 3% of all cancers.
Which sounds small.
Until it’s your mom.

My mom died from cholangiocarcinoma. It took months for the cancer to take her after she’d been diagnosed. She wasn’t given hope or promise through treatment. She was told treatment could possibly give her more time, not a cure. But at what cost?

There’s no routine screening.
Limited treatment options.
And survival rates that force you to learn statistics you never wanted to know.

World CCA Day exists to:
• Raise awareness
• Push for earlier detection
• Fund research
• And make sure families like mine aren’t blindsided by a diagnosis they’ve never even heard of.

Rare doesn’t mean insignificant.
Rare just means underfunded. Under-discussed. Understood too late.

If you’ve never heard of cholangiocarcinoma, now you have.
If you’ve lost someone to it, I see you.
If you’re fighting it, I’m holding space for you.

My mom deserved more time.
So do the families walking this road right now.

Awareness matters. Research matters.

It’s weird planning for a future you now know isn’t guaranteed.

I used to hear “later” and feel comfort.
Later I’ll slow down.
Later I’ll rest.
Later I’ll enjoy what I worked for.

Then I buried both of my parents.

And “later” stopped feeling safe. It felt unrealistic.

Grief didn’t just make me sad. It rewired how I see time. How I see work. How I see control. It’s hard to blindly believe in five-year plans when you’ve watched someone never make it to theirs.

No one talks about that part.

The part where you’re still functioning. Still showing up. Still contributing to retirement. But something in you knows how fragile it all actually is.

I wrote about that shift. The awareness. The tension between being responsible and not wanting to postpone your life.

If this has quietly happened to you too… you’ll understand it.

Link in bio or 👇
https://www.stillsherisesup.com/post/how-do-you-live-after-you-ve-experienced-death

National Cancer Day.
Not a reminder anyone needs, but one many of us live with anyway.

For the ones fighting, the ones supporting, and the ones quietly carrying the fallout.

If today feels heavier than usual, that tracks.
No strength speeches here. Just acknowledgment.
I see you. 🖤

Happy Birthday to my best friend, biggest supporter, biggest pain in the ass. I’m so grateful to be your wife and the (favorite 😜) mother of your furry children.

We have been through so much together. Joy, trial, challenges, grief. We’ve accomplished major goals, been hit by some major setbacks, had to route then re-route and change direction all together. Life has thrown us some curveballs, but glad I get to face them with you. I would pick you to do life with over and over again.

Happy Birthday, 👵

Morning affirmations, grievers edition.
Less manifesting joy, more choosing restraint. (IYKYK)
Still counts. 🖤

I can’t believe it’s been 1 year since I lost my soul baby doggy. 12.5 years will never be enough. We grew up together, experienced so many new things, trials, challenges and adventures. I could share pictures for dayyyyssss of her crazy personality. She was the most judgey, loving, nosey, cuddly, ornery baby.

There will never be a day that goes by that I won’t miss you, Nala, but I know you’re up in animal heaven being the best momma Nala with your bunnies, siri, Asher, Harley, your brother Simba and your bff Ayden.

Oooofffff.

Didn’t expect a romantasy book to hit me so hard in the grief feels.

Has anyone ever said this to you?

After years of grief stacking on top of grief, trauma on top of trauma, being told “you got mean” is almost funny……almost.

I didn’t get mean. I got tired.
Tired of over-explaining.
Tired of carrying things I was never meant to carry this long.
Tired of being easy, agreeable, and available while my life was falling apart.
Tired of putting everything above my own needs.

Grief stripped me down to the point where I didn’t recognize myself. And what grew back from that wasn’t softness for everyone — it was boundaries. It was self-protection. It was survival.

Am I the same? No.
Did I change? Of course I did.

I survived the worst years of my life and I’m still figuring out who I am now. So if that reads as “mean,” I can live with that.

I’m not mean.
I’m changed.
And I can’t live the life I accepted before.

I can be grateful that we’re here and still feel worn out by how we got here.
I can be relieved that it worked out, and still need time to recover from the process.

The last few months took more out of me than I expected. On the outside, everything looks fine. Good, even. But living through big transitions isn’t just about where you land. It’s about what it costs you to get there.

I’ve been quiet because I needed space to catch up to myself. To sit with the mixed feelings instead of rushing past them.

I wrote about it honestly on the blog. No lessons. No silver lining. Just where I’ve actually been.

If you’re in a season where things “worked out” but you’re still tired, you’re not alone. If you feel like you should be more excited or happy, yet you're struggling with it all, I see you.

Link below and in bio 🤍

https://www.stillsherisesup.com/post/where-i-ve-been-lately

Grief doesn’t just make you sad.
It rewires how you move through the world.

You laugh and cry in the same breath.
You’re exhausted on days that look “easy.”
Small talk feels unbearable.
Life splits into before and after.
You disappear sometimes just to survive.

None of this means you’re broken.
It means you’re grieving.

If any of these made you stop and think, you’re not alone — and you’re not doing this wrong.

Which one felt the most familiar? 🖤

Forever changed. Forever mourning the before and after. Forever left wondering why. If you can’t handle the dark humor, I’m not your vibe.

The new year doesn’t always feel like a fresh start.
Sometimes it just feels like… another day you have to survive.

When you’re carrying grief, exhaustion or burnout, resolutions can feel heavy. Unrealistic. Like something else you’re already failing before you begin.

So this year, I’m choosing promises instead.
Not the kind that demand perfection or productivity.
But the kind that leave room for bad days, slow days, and days where simply showing up is enough.

Promises to protect my energy.
To listen to my body.
To say no without explaining myself.
To honor the version of me that exists today, not the one I think I should be by now.

If you’re walking into this year tired, unsure, or unmotivated, you’re not alone. I see you.

Going into a new year with grief is hard.

While everyone else is sharing highlight reels and setting goals, you might be focused on one thing: surviving. One day at a time. Even thinking about the future can feel overwhelming. Planning goals can feel like staring at a mountain you don’t have the energy to climb.

It’s okay to not have it all figured out on January 1st. Carrying grief into a new year looks different than it does for people who aren’t grieving — and that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Your path doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

Give yourself grace this year. Let surviving be enough. Let showing up count. Let small moments, slow days, and quiet wins matter. You don’t need big plans or a perfect vision for what’s next.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is keep going.

I see you. And you’re not alone.

What a difference 4 years can make. “They” say it gets easier. If it does, I haven’t felt that yet. The days get quieter, but the missing gets louder. Every holiday, every birthday, every normal Tuesday just lands differently now. Heavier. Sharper. More real.
Four years ago I had no idea how much life was about to change. And even now, I’m still figuring out how to live in the space between what was and what is — carrying them with me, even when they’re not in the picture anymore.

Happy birthday to my sister’💛
Watching you step into motherhood has been one of the best things I’ve ever witnessed. You’re learning yourself in new ways, finding your rhythm, and showing up with a love that’s so real and so big it spills into every room you walk into. I know this period of your life has been both rewarding, and challenging. Becoming a mom without having the support and help from your own mother is something I’ll never be able to understand, but I see the struggles and the joy and grief living simultaneously together.
I’m proud of you — not in a big dramatic way, but in that quiet “I see you becoming who you’re meant to be” kind of way. I can’t wait to keep watching you grow, change, heal, and find your own flow in this life. You’re doing better than you think, and I hope this year feels lighter, softer, and full of moments that remind you who you are. Know mom and dad are also proud of you, and the individual person and mother you’re becoming.
I love you, always. ✨💕

✨ Two years sober today. ✨

If you told me a few years ago, in the middle of all the trauma and loss, that I’d actually stop drinking, I would’ve laughed. Alcohol was my crutch. My “answer.” My vice. I couldn’t imagine life without it.

But here I am. Two years without alcohol. Two years of feeling everything (the good, the hard, the unbearable) without numbing it away. Two years of realizing I don’t need it. Two years of building new boundaries, getting more comfortable in my skin, and actually facing life as it is—not how I wish it could be.

It hasn’t been easy. Some days still aren’t. But I don’t miss the shame spiral, the hangovers, or the way drinking kept me small. Instead, I’m proud of this version of me—the one who feels it all and keeps going anyway.

I poured it all out (literally and figuratively 😂) in my new blog post. If you’re curious about sobriety, or just want to read an honest reflection about grief, growth, and resilience—this one’s for you.

💻 Link below or in bio.
https://www.stillsherisesup.com/post/happy-2-years-sober-to-me

#TwoYearsSober #Soberversary #SoberLife #StillSheRisesUp #GriefAndGrowth

💜 Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.
Suicide isn’t about choosing to leave—it’s about pain so heavy that hope feels out of reach. And too often, that pain is hidden behind smiles, busy lives, and perfectly curated posts.

We can change that.
💬 Ask the hard questions.
📲 Send the text.
👂 Listen without judgment.
🤝 Remind someone they’re not alone.

On the blog, I’m sharing my own story, my family’s story, and real ways you can support loved ones who might be struggling. Because mental health matters. Because tomorrow needs you.

✨ Read more at Still She Rises Up (link in bio or below)
https://www.stillsherisesup.com/post/world-suicide-prevention-day
#WorldSuicidePreventionDay #YouAreNotAlone #griefsupport #healingisnotlinear #healing #grief #stillsherisesup #grief #healingjourney #healingthroughgrief #YouAreNotAlone #SupportThroughGrief #GriefSupportCommunity #HoldingSpace #HonoringOurLovedOnes #GriefAndHealing #HealingTogether #GriefWarrior #RememberingYou #StillWithMe #InnerStrength #GrowthThroughGrief #resilienceingrief #stillsherisesup

Another sweet baby crossing the rainbow bridge. 💔 It never gets easier. No matter how much time we’re given—or how little—the loss cuts so deeply.
Our family is full of four-legged babies, more than 20 between us all, and each one holds a piece of our hearts. For those who don’t have animals, it’s hard to put into words the love, the companionship, and the comfort they bring into our lives.
Their time with us is always too short, but their love is limitless. They love us unconditionally until their very last breath, and we’re lucky enough to carry that love with us until our own. 🌈🐾 See you again Harley Jaxx, Aunties love you! 💜

August 15th changed my life forever.

One day my dad was here—joking, planning, alive. The next, his heart had stopped. It didn’t make sense. Just like that… he was gone.

Three months later, my mom got a terminal diagnosis. We hadn’t even processed losing him before we were facing losing her, too. I thought I had decades left with them. I was wrong.

I wrote about that day, the heartbreak, and how grief has reshaped me in ways I never expected. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s me trying to make sense of a world without them.

💜 Full story on my blog Still She Rises Up
🔗 Link in bio & https://www.stillsherisesup.com/post/august-15th-the-day-everything-changed

#griefjourney #lossandlove #stillrisesup #healingafterloss #rawgrief #griefsupport

Happy birthday, dad. I can’t believe it’s been 2 yrs since we celebrated your last birthday. Almost 3 years since you left us. I will never forgot the last day I saw you. Before you left, you told each one of us goodbye. Looking back on it, it was such an odd thing for you to do. The next morning, I got the call I had feared for a while.

I still don’t know how to navigate life without you. Something comes up every week that makes me want to call you- work, house stuff, life, etc. Then I remember I’m Jason Varble’s daughter and you raised me to know what I needed to do. I miss you.

I’m exhausted—and not in the cute 'I need a nap' kind of way. I mean the kind of tired that lives in your bones.

Lately, everything feels hard.
The to-do lists. The expectations. The “just get it done” energy.

I used to be someone who ran on hustle. I thought rest was a reward you earned after doing all the things. But grief taught me that your body will eventually shut down if you don’t slow down.

I’ve been feeling this deep, relentless kind of tired—mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And I thought something was wrong with me… until I realized it’s just what happens when you carry too much for too long.

So I wrote about it. 💻 New blog post is live: link in bio or https://www.stillsherisesup.com/post/hello-i-m-exhausted

The exhaustion. The burnout. The invisible weight of grief.
And how sometimes, the bravest thing you can do… is rest.

You are not lazy. You are not behind. You’re grieving—and that’s work.

🖤

#grieffatigue #griefjourney #mentalhealthawareness #griefsupport #griefexhaustion #burnout #restisproductive #stillrising #griefhealing #griefandgrowth #stillsherisesup

After a few heavy years, today felt like a deep breath. Being surrounded by love, laughter, and all the excitement for this new little life reminded me that joy still exists—even in the middle of everything else.

Watching my sister step into motherhood is such a gift. She’s already the most amazing mom, and I can’t wait to be the best tia ever 💜

Happy Birthday, momma. I miss you so much it hurts.

Just because Pride Month is almost over doesn’t mean we stop talking about it. Pride isn’t just a month — it’s every damn day. It’s a lifelong celebration of who you are.

Be proud of your story. Be proud of your scars and every battle you’ve faced to get to today. Be proud of the quirks, the boldness, the softness, the strength — everything that makes you uniquely YOU. Be proud of who and how you love.

In a world that still has way too much hate, choosing to show up with love and acceptance for all is powerful. Keep being that light. Keep being loud. Keep being proud. Keep spreading acceptance — because the world needs more of exactly that. 🌈💖

#PrideEveryday #StillProud #LoveWins #BeYou #LGBTQ+

The last half of the Old Lady Club has crossed the rainbow bridge 💔

Ayden Michelle, your aunties are going to miss you more than we can put into words. You were the best travel companion, the chillest couch potato, and the sassiest side-eye queen around(tied with your BFF Nala, of course) Always up for an adventure— whether that be a road trip, or a nap, and somehow managed to befriend everyone—even if it meant sneaking out of hotel rooms just to greet the guests like it was your job 😅

You were the kind of dog that made life softer, funnier, and better just by being there. I’m so grateful I got to spend 11 of your 13 years with you. It won’t be the same without you.

Give Nala, Asher & Ace a kiss from us on the other side 🐾🌈

#RainbowBridge #BestDogEver #DogAuntieLove #FurNieceForever #GoodGirl #doglossgrief

I didn’t just lose my parents when they died. I lost myself.

No one talks about the identity crisis that comes with grief.
Not just the sadness, not just the missing — but the disappearing.

Almost 3 years later and I still don’t feel “normal.”
Grief changed me. It rewired me.
And I’m learning that maybe healing isn’t about going back…
Maybe it’s about becoming someone new.

This is for anyone grieving not just a person, but a version of themselves they don’t recognize anymore.
You’re not broken.
You’re becoming.

🕊️

Read the full post on my blog. Link in bio. or below.
https://www.stillsherisesup.com/post/the-grief-no-one-talks-about-losing-yourself
#FindingMyself #griefsupport #healingisnotlinear #healing #grief #healingjourney #healingthroughgrief #YouAreNotAlone #SupportThroughGrief #GriefSupportCommunity #HoldingSpace #HonoringOurLovedOnes #GriefAndHealing #HealingTogether #GriefWarrior #RememberingYou #StillWithMe #InnerStrength #GrowthThroughGrief #resilienceingrief #stillsherisesup

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I can’t believe it’s been almost 4 months since we had to say goodbye. I know wherever it is you are, you’re right there with grandma and grandpa giving everyone the most judgmental side eye.

Mother’s Day hits different when your mom is gone.

It used to be a day filled with her favorite foods, her loud laugh, and her quiet joy.
Now it’s a reminder that she’s not here—and hasn’t been for a while.

I didn’t know what to do with this day the first year. She had been gone for only 7 days.
I ignored it the second.
This year, I wrote about it.

If Mother’s Day feels heavy for you too, I hope this blog post meets you where you are.

No pressure to be okay. No perfect way to grieve. Just real, honest words for anyone navigating this weird, painful version of a day that used to be full of love.

✨ Read it at https://www.stillsherisesup.com/post/mother-s-day-without-a-mother or tap the link in my bio.

#MothersDayGrief #MotherlessDaughters #GratitudeAndGrief #FindingMyself #GratefulHeart #griefsupport #healingisnotlinear #healing #grief #stillsherisesup #grief #healingjourney #healingthroughgrief #YouAreNotAlone #SupportThroughGrief #GriefSupportCommunity #HoldingSpace #HonoringOurLovedOnes #GriefAndHealing #HealingTogether #GriefWarrior #RememberingYou #StillWithMe #InnerStrength #GrowthThroughGrief #resilienceingrief #stillsherisesup

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